SHOULD I STILL MARRY HIM?: Dipo Tepede.POeT

By Dipo Tepede, 1 year and 10 months ago

SHOULD I STILL MARRY HIM?

Average time to read2:30 minutes aprox.

Hi Dipo,

I have a guy who have asked me to marry him and I have prayed about it, I have a conviction that he is the right person for me, but the problem I have is that I don't like the way he looks, his dress sense and anytime we are together and am conscious of that fact I just get angry and start snapping at him. After a while a still voice will make me to push aside this thought. Now my questions is with time will I still love him or feel comfortable with him, though I know that physical attraction is not the real basis of choosing a life partner.

Miss H.

Dear Miss H,

I am very glad you are sharing this concern with the team and I want to assure you that you are not alone in this seemingly difficult issue. Bearing, this in mind, I am sure this mail would go a long way to help my fellow female counterpart undergoing the same issue. From your write-up, it's as if you already know the right choice but you need confirmation to give you a stronger resolve. The following points will broaden your perspective on the issue;

Appearance: The fact that you are concerned about his appearance is a strong indication that your convictions are positive because God definitely does not view from the appearance. I am sure you must have heard that saying times without number but come to think of it, nothing would attract you to a man you eschew his appearance very much than an inner leaning.

Help Meet: The only reason for marriage is because there is a need in the man's life, no wonder God said it is not good for man to be alone so he provided a help meet for him; someone suitable to strengthen his weakness. This why God is asking you to marry him because, you have work to do on him. Since he has problems with his appearance (his weakness), you are expected to revamp the appearance through your trendy taste.

Open Up: You really need to open up to this man you are expected to marry. It is very important to let him know your concerns so it would be easier for you to transit this apparent issue you have with him. If something is bothering you, it is better to open up with him about it so it could be resolve early than bottle it up for a bomb shell.

Self Centeredness: Have you ever thought of this man's opinion about your weakness. He may also be worried about a weakness, he has noticed in you and also be seeking counseling. He may not see you as his ideal wife but he may be trusting God to overcome his hindrances. Marriage is the coming together of two imperfect human being so try and look at it from his own reference frame. This is a good step to eliminating selfishness.

Faith: You really need to believe that God is in the business of improving lives and he would use you as an instrument to revamp his weakness. Do not support an outsider, to mirror his obvious weakness, in your presence. But with prayer and gentle tutelage, he may be the next P.Diddy in the making.

Hope these points were very helpful. As per love, which is simply a feeling that can be resuscitated, it all depends on you to choose to love him. We would be praying along with you as the D day approaches and don't forget to invite the POeT Team on the wedding day……..

Oceans of love,

Mercy and Dipo Tepede

For the POeT Team

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44 comments

#44. Lady U
1 month and 25 days ago

God Bless you guys for this reply. This has just gone a long way to confirm that it's the Holy Spirit speaking to me lately about my guy. I keep hearing that as a help meet, i have a lot of work to do.

I pray God to cause your marriage to be «heaven on earth».

Thanks & God bless!

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#43. Chris
1 year ago

You have nothing but criticism for him. No - you should not marry him, and he should under no circumstances marry you.

The truth is that more than 67% (no, not 50% - do your homework) of marriages will end in divorce. 92% of the time it will be initiated by the woman for no other reason than she is «unfulfilled» – oh, and because she gets the kids, the house, at least ½ the assets and most of his future after tax income for the next 18 years. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house and his kids. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn't level unsubstantiated «abuse» claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver's and professional licenses, make him virtually unemployable.

If you were to take up sky-diving, and the instructor informed you that 67% of the parachutes were defective, would you take the plunge?

The men's Marriage Strike is alive and well, thank you.

nomarriage.com

#42. tqfksiendj
1 year and 4 months ago

oheslw

#41. srnmjtrxfp
1 year and 4 months ago

Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! qwezgpxbtirr

#40. Genesis
1 year and 4 months ago

HI DIPO ,
i HAVE NOT READ THIS MESSAGE BE4 COS I WAS THINKING DIFFERENTLY .THANK GOD I DID TODAY!
MY DEAR FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED TOMORRROW AND HAS ALWAYS COMPAINED ABOUT THIS SIMILAR ISSUE BUT TO GOD BE THE GLORY THE GUY IN QUESTION TODAY HAS REALLY CHANGED THANK GOD SHE DIDNT PACK UP THE R/SHIP COS OF HIS DRESS SENSE.

Un1nhibit3d You are just too intelligent, smart, experienced in this matter wentin dey?I am reallly impressed that we ave this type of chic around and pple are getting words from you, even in my church there have been cases of r/ship breaking up cos the chic thinks the guy does not have enough good sense of dressing to be to seen with them but you know they always end up with sad stories.
Thank you so much for this pieces.God Bless.

#39. Sa"eed
1 year and 5 months ago

Its real hard to be in your kind of situation.
Many ladies like you would want to go ahead and marry him.
Well, i think it makes sense that you follow your heart.
Where «love» isn't important,your ability to cope with his attitude and tolerate him really counts.
So my dear, if you cannot cope with your man, cannot tolerate him and don't want to spend the rest of your life being sad then don't marry him.
Its for the good of both of you.
Marriage is not by force.

#38. Loads
1 year and 5 months ago

If you really love him and he is reado to learn then don't leave him.

#37. Biddy
1 year and 5 months ago

i have enjoyed reading all your contributions and Dipo thanks for this opportunity to read all these inspirational writtings from all the lovely contributors!
Un1nhibit3d, you are the babe!the blessed man that will marry you will be marrying a gem of a woman! i have a feeling you are one of pastor Bims People and girl i am proud of you, if yes, you dey represent her kampe!
Miss H! i tell a lot of single girls that the reason most young girls desire married men is becos someone has worked on them and they are now like the GQ guys and so this girls want them but they are not ready for the work in making these men. everyman is like gold, for you to get him on the shelf, you have to dig and get it and then do the real work of refining it. Ask most women that are happily married or better still have a wonderful relationship, they will tell you they had work to do on themselves and the work is still on going as with God there is no abandoned project! so if the conviction is there be open and talk to him about your expectation and he will make the necessary adjustment as you get along!
when i was in courtship with my husband i had a lot of issues with his dress sense, but the truth was bobo did not have much clothes, so he was making do with what he had! so if na purple shirt dey available he fit wear am with green trouser and white shoes!she laughs! it was not that bad, am just exagerating!he was not use to perfume but thank God he didnt have body odour! but i had to help him out and i gave him hints as well as buying any good shirts and clothes i see that i feel will suit him! Today, he dresses better and combines his clothes beautifully, its now four years of marriage and 2 children after. i am the one trying to catch up with him in dressing!see life!
So dearie, what is important is his heart for God and humanity, his love for you and interest in what you do, his ability to provide and be there for you and above all, your understanding of his purpose in life and how you fit in with this purpose to be a true help suitable for him. All the best!

#36. stacy miller
1 year and 5 months ago

I believe if there is any doubt in your mind, if you should marry him or not, dont do it. I struggled with my fiancee and the question if I should marry him. There is a reason why you have doubt, follow your heart, I did and found out many things that I would have lived with for the rest of my life.

#35. Londoncoool
1 year and 5 months ago

Buy GQ magazine for him, it could come in handy

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